In her last night at the Fez Under Time Cafe, Joan Rivers had a slight cold, but still looked ravishing in a flowy green shirt/dress she purchased on her recent St. Patrick’s Day trip to Ireland. She riffed repeatedly on ugly people of all sorts: Eskimos, Indians (Native Americans), Donatella Versace (“she looks like something you hang on your wall in Africa!”), and Jews who “don’t get their noses fixed.”
Other highlights included Joan’s disappointment in her daughter Melissa’s decision to turn down (but really, who turned down whom?) Playboy magazine’s recent $500,000 offer. “I had to say, ‘whatever you want, dear,’ but really I wanted to tell her to show them her cootch for another $100,000! Sigh… $500,000! That’s a lot of money!” On a related note, Joan’s heart went out to her good friend Michael Jackson, while expressing some good-natured jealousy over the amounts of the out-of-court settlements his little adolescent friends have received. “Why couldn’t I have had a son?”
Oh Joan, we had only 45 minutes together and I miss you already.