!! OMG, that’s not a boner! !!


So a bunch of tipsters have alerted us to the above YouTube clip, which I guess either means that a lot of people are interested in it or that some viral PR marketing genius is trying to spark another Susan Boyle Craze. I’ll assume it’s the former, but honestly I have a few pressing questions when it comes to this video from THE X-FACTOR. I don’t get it!
First of all, excuse me for being such an ignorant American “wanker” but is Simon Cowell now the star of every television program in England? I know there’s been a recent Jade Goody shortage and everything, but really, can’t Shilpa Shetty pinch hit or something? It’s getting embarrassing.
Okay, that’s question one. Question two is what the hell are all these British people in the audience freaking out about? I guess the idea is that everyone thinks this man is onstage doing his terrible singing with a giant boner in his pants but, um, guess what: this is not what a boner looks like. It’s just not. If I hadn’t seen so much scally/chav porn, I might be tempted to assume that UK boners are round and bulbous rather than long and cylindrical like, you know, a D, but the sad fact is that I’m quite familiar with the Triga catalog, which means I’m well aware that British people have normal boners just like everyone else. So like Dan at HitDanBack, I find myself asking what the f*ck? I guess this man just has a really big basket but is that something to go this crazy over? I thought people liked big baskets! Shouldn’t they be applauding?
If someone can educate me about exactly what is going on here I would really appreciate it.
(Brought to our attention by Hachiko and others!)

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6 Comments on "OMG, that’s not a boner!"

  1. As aficionado of Triga as well (Hooligans and Rugger Bugger to be specific), I concur. That’s not a boner. It just a bit of unfortunate packaging.

  2. to answer question one, the x factor and britain’s got talent are the only two shows (to my knowledge) he appears in. and they’re basically the same show anyway, just at different times of the year.

  3. Alright, Bmad you are great. Love your posts. I have no idea what all that was about at all. I did love Cheryl’s face when she noticed though, that was priceless. I don’t know what to say about the guy though, I mean, maybe he’s got huge balls? I dunno.

  4. okay so the guy isn’t good looking… but BIG DEAL? We’ve been slapped in the face with women’s tits for years, and they make them bigger and bigger all the time… why are we so upset to see evidence that a guy has something between his legs? It’s sexist to think that a man’s bulge is vulger but a woman’s bulge is sexy.

  5. It’s just funny. no shit it wasn’t wood, but the idea that his crotch said more than his singing is rich. fuck maybe it’s a colostomy bag. it still made me laugh.

  6. it seems he’s dressed to the left – strapped his cock and balls next to his thigh and wore jeans that are too tight!

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