!! Rites of Passage !!

occurred several times last night on the two-hour season finale of Mad, Mad House. Jaime found herself after struggling in previous episodes, promising herself by the end that she would never “go back to that lifestyle that took my soul” (stripping) and generally making us believe that she would use the $100,000 for the good of her 3-year-old daughter. Nicole, on the other hand, also revealed some of herself and her troubles for the first time, talking about how she was “just staying afloat” and how she wanted to be better than that. All of this followed a night of sleeping in a coffin and a day of picking herbs in the nude, pulling heavy weights around in a circle, and sitting blindfolded in a cave for several hours. Jaime won the money, of course. Maybe

Nicole deserved it, but Jaime needed it more, and they both had come so far. So far, in fact, that it could be considered a miracle. Avocado declared it as such, and so mote it be.
Mmm, so satisfying. I’m going to miss the five Alts. I hope that if they do the show again, they bring back the same five, who are far more fabulous than those gays on Bravo, especially Fiona, who wears way more makeup than any Wiccan I know, and is, coincidentally, way hotter. Too bad she’s kind of stupid and says things like “The way you’re speaking to me right now is invading my personal space. Please respect me and give me time to speak.” Ewww.
Also last night, Shii-Ann was voted off Survivor: All Stars. Not unexpected, but definitely disappointing, this means the show is now going to be pretty boring. Every single person left is a horrible moron, and I really don’t think any of them deserves the $1 million. After the season finale of The OC next week, I guess I’ll just have to look forward to Season Three of ANTM. I know Tyra will not let us down.

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