dear readers,
if there’s one thing i’m sick of, it’s baseball. how can anyone care about this baseball team or that, especially compared to the emotional investment that reality television elicits? i only got to see about three quarters of last night’s survivor, because my angry roommate insisted on switching back and forth between the baseball game, which he seemed to consider “very important.” i said, “Henry, it’s BASEBALL… you’re not going to miss anything in an hour. maybe a couple of foul balls. big deal.”

what i really hate is how all of these phony “baseball fans” come out of the woodwork only during, you know, the big games or something. they give absolutely no thought to America’s pasttime until the New York Post tells them it’s a male requirement, and the next thing you know, these people are slapping their own asses and shouting “BOO-YAH!” at the tv screen in an embarassing spectacle.
i’m not just trying to rag on my roommate. as a good older brother, i was dismayed to find that my sister had written about THE CUBS in her weekly column for the Daily Northwesterner. The thought of my own sister, normally such a sensible girl, turning into one of those BOO-YAH! shouting, own-ass-slapping “I’m cute but I hang at the sportsbar” type sparklefatties is just such a disappointment. Lucy, you don’t care about baseball, so why are you fronting?! Try harder next time, or i’ll have to stop reading your column…
Anyway, I definitely did not slap my own ass or pound on the table or cry during last night’s survivor. Yes, the show HAS been known to make me cry– for instance at Kelly Goldsmith’s heartbreaking ejection in Africa and at Shii Ann’s totally unfair boot in Thailand. But last night’s episode was just straight up boring. I barely even noticed when Henry would switch over to the red sox or whatever.
boringness aside, i was a little disappointed to see Michelle get the boot. Sure, her crying/puking damsel-in-distress act was obnoxious, but she seemed to have potential, and i would way rather have seen Jon or Shawn or Osten go. Right now, I’m putting my money on a Tijuana win. I just hope she incorporates her famous donkey show into endgame strategy.
thank you for your time,

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1 Comment on "SURVIVOR UPDATE"

  1. Elliot Smith Post-Mortem | November 3, 2003 at 6:30 pm | Reply

    who are you calling "phony" here? seems to me the real problem are the dogmatic anti-sports nancies who won’t even let a casual baseball fan support his home team without bitching and moaning about it because they’d rather keep tabs on the rashes on various "survivors"…please…oh yeah – try leaving another page open on my computer next time…

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