Esquire Magazine has made a list that, no doubt, will throw all nerdy fanboys into a fury of online discussion: Who are the most useless and unlikable characters in the MCU?
You already know that the Avengers would be better off without Hawkeye and Star-Lord. We made a couple more cuts.
Find 5 out of the 25 after the jump. Who could you do without, OMG!?
25. Donny Blaze (she-hulk)
“Donny Blaze, a parody of both magician David Blaine and superhero Johnny Blaze. a.k.a. Ghost Rider, may be one of the MCU’s worst creations yet. Not only is the idea of going to a magic show when the MCU has aliens and sorcerers incredibly stupid, but Blaze is sued by Wong because he allegedly “abuses” magic. Wong, my man, what else would you call almost everything Doctor Strange does?”
20. (Middle-aged) Groot
” Of the three iterations of Groot we see in the MCU, the OG middle-aged Groot is the biggest drag, this Groot is just kind of Vin Diesel making weird noises through a microphone.”
13. Ultron
“What a big, genocidal silly boy. Ultron made a worthy enough villain in the second Avengers movie, and sure, he gave way to Vision, but there’s also a lot of stupid stuff about Ultron that makes him a disappointment. At the end of the day, Ultron is a pissed off Alexa who got too big for his vibranium britches.”
9. Tony Stark
“Even sacrificing his own life doesn’t redeem Tony Stark for his repeated homophobic jokes, constant womanizing, and just general dickishness. This is the guy who profited off of war, then took part in global destruction to prevent war, then profited off of the reconstruction from his own collateral damage. Why are we idolizing this guy?! Why is he positioned as a hero? Let’s also not forget that he is responsible for directly creating most of the conflicts and/or villains throughout the MCU. Plus, his facial hair is awful.”
2. Hawkeye
“The problem with Hawkeye isn’t that he has no powers. It’s that his only talent, bow and arrows, is his only real defining character trait. I dare you to tell me anything interesting about Hawkeye besides the fact that his repeated dumb decisions constantly make things slightly more difficult for the actual heroes around him.”
Hawkeye: Robin and Speedy’s love child. That alone make him necessary, given how DC has been treating old Roy Harper since 2009.
Captain America is so old-fashioned, with his ideas like “kill Nazis”. So problematic in the era of QAnon. I’m pretty sure the boomers thought killing Nazis was square. That would explain the boomers so much.
Also, I’m pretty sure one could also blame Doctor Strange for their defeat, seeing as he literally almost kills Thanos but then changes his mind. Yeah, I know, he’s omniscient so it’s okay. Cool motive brom
Well. This was a dumbass list. Star-lord makes Guardians.