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!! OMG, good advice: Your Friend Dorothy talks MILFs, thirds, and COVID pounds !!

Your Friend, Dorothy

Illustration by Eric Kostiuk Williams

As our second pandemic summer winds down, it’s hard not to reflect on where we’ve been vs. where we are now. Taking a look in the mirror literally and figuratively might surface some things, but worry not: Your Friend, Dorothy offers perspective that puts your sleep paralysis demons back to bed.

This month, one reader is feeling a way about his mom’s new dating habits, another is navigating the delicate waters of adding a third to their relationship, and one more is looking for help feeling comfortable with changes in their body.

Read Dorothy’s good advice after the jump, and scroll to the bottom to submit your own question!

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!! OMG, sniff sniff: UFO Parfums !!

UFO ParfumsOMG! Do you miss raving, making out, and uninhibited (consensual) touching? We certainly do.

Smart people say that scent is strongly associated with memory, and that’s what we’re digging most about UFO Parfums, an independent perfumery based in Los Angeles that specializes in eccentric, gender-neutral smells “inspired by rave culture, using luxury materials.”

They currently offer four scents, and we had the pleasure of trying them out. Read our full review after the jump!

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!! OMG Stars: Full Moon in Capricorn, June 2021 !!

OMG Stars by Amelia EhrhardtFull Moon in Capricorn, June 24th, 2021

It’s nice to reach a full moon that can feel like a bit of a deep stretch and a pat on the back. We made it through some shit! Mercury is finished its retrograde so you can start taking responsibility for your own mistakes and stop blaming it; we’re through this round of eclipse season and all the drama that goes along with that; and we’re fresh into Cancer season and the official start of summer in the Northern hemisphere. We did that!

Full moons are always a time of culmination, and i don’t know if it’s just me personally, but I feel a great sense of accomplishment in the way that a Capricorn moon does best. Something about making it through all of that rotted astrology has made room for some personal congratulations, some space in my mind to make decisions and move forwards. Full moons are like that, they give us an opportunity to look at what you’ve made happen and what you can let go of.

Full Moon in Capricorn, June 2021This full moon in Capricorn, with the sun in Cancer, is joined by Venus and Pluto also making an opposition between Cancer and Capricorn. This damn portal! Cancer-Capricorn was the site of so much drama last year, and last new moon and eclipse was also activated by Mars opposite Pluto. We can’t seem to get away from these thematics butting heads. Our work and our personal lives, integrity and vulnerability, structure and softness: collectively we are being asked to address these ideas. Wherever Cancer and Capricorn sit on your chart is a part of your life that probably for the last year, you can’t seem to get away from. Always just coming back to it.

This lunation’ s horoscopes are written to draw attention to this part of your life and to figure out how to balance letting go with also acknowledging that there’s still much to be done. Pluto will be in Capricorn until the end of 2024, so even though there are some culminations happening, you’ll probably still be thinking about these things for a few years yet.

Let the accomplishments you’ve made feel good while also giving space for more transformation.

Find your full horoscope after the jump!

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!! OMG Stars: New Moon and Solar Eclipse in Gemini, June 2021 !!

OMG Stars by Amelia Ehrhardt

Solar Eclipse/New Moon in Gemini, June 10th, 2021

If you or someone around you has been asking, “WTF is going on right now?”, rest assured that, astrologically, something is TF going on.

I’ll put it all in astrological terms, then I’ll translate after.

Today’s solar eclipse and new moon takes place conjunct Mercury, currently retrograde at 10º of Gemini. The sun, moon, and Mercury are all in a square to Neptune, a square that Mercury has been in for more than a week now. Meanwhile Saturn and Uranus are in their square, the second of three this year, and still around one of the tightest orbs they’ll make this year.

We also just got out of an opposition between Mars and Pluto, in Cancer and Capricorn respectively, in late cardinal degrees that were badly hit last year.

To translate into English: Things are a bit messy. Mercury retrograde is what we know it to be: a time of revision but also of things going awry, plans not working out, misunderstandings possible. Square Neptune, planet of confusion and mystery, the chance for misunderstanding is not just possible but basically to be expected. Neptune is in Pisces bringing a deeply emotional element to these misunderstandings.

Horoscopes for New Moon and Solar Eclipse in GeminiEclipses, meanwhile, tend to precipitate crises or major changes: we’re currently in eclipse season, having just had a lunar eclipse in Sagittarius two weeks ago. We fear eclipses as we fear change, and we dislike Mercury retrogrades as we dislike unpredictability. This astrology is a bit like the feeling of encountering a minor irritation while you are in a major personal crisis. Usually a flat tire on your bike, a transit reroute, an email problem, would be annoying. When you’re in major crisis, these things can be the tipping point.

To bring Mars and Pluto into the mix, their major action is already passed: the opposition was strongest last weekend. But that opposition occurred in parts of Cancer and Capricorn that were very active last year, particularly last summer during some very challenging astrology (and times): I had wondered, and am now noticing that, this opposition is bringing back some energies and thematics of last summer.

Particularly since combined with Mercury retrograde, which tends to be a very nostalgic time, we’re being drawn back into some conversations we maybe hoped we were done with.

The eclipse is making space for the change we were not ready for last year. Give yourself the space you need to process it, be kind to the people around you, and be slow with your speech.

Find your full horoscopes after the jump!

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!! OMG Stars: Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius, May 2021 !!

OMG Stars by Amelia Ehrhardt

Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius, May 26th, 2021

If you have been reading these horoscopes for awhile, you’ll know that my shtick about eclipses is that they are common. There are multiples a year, clustered into eclipse “seasons,” and they vary in type and visibility. This eclipse is a total lunar eclipse, in which the moon is briefly completely hidden by the shadow of the earth. Astrologically, they are regarded as portents of change, once considered to foretell the death of a king. Contemporary online astrology can get a little click-baity around them, predicting massive change or upheavals in your life.

Well, such things can certainly happen, but personally I shy away from predicting them. This eclipse comes right before a Mercury retrograde in Mercury’s home territory of Gemini, with the sun also in the sign of the twins and the moon in Gemini’s opposing sign of Sagittarius. This polarity is about information and learning; growth and expansion; ideas and action. This is the polarity of teacher and student, and the way these two roles are mutable and rely on each other.

Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius

In the spirit of the Sagittarius-Gemini opposition, and to hopefully dispel some Internet astrology myths, here’s some quick facts about eclipses and the moon:

-Full moon/lunar eclipse = sun and moon opposite

-Lunar eclipse = supercharged full moon

-New moons/solar eclipses = sun and moon conjunct

-There are about six eclipses a year: generally 2-3 lunar, and 2-5 solar.

-Eclipses happen in the same pair of signs for a period of about 1.5 – 2 years.

-The signs of the north node (also called the true node) and the south node are the same as the signs that eclipses will be happening in.

-Solar eclipse =  supercharged new moon

Hopefully these factoids help clear up any lunation confusion. Wishing you all the best for this fun and exciting astrology.

Find your full horoscopes after the jump!

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!! OMG, Billy Porter:“This is what HIV-positive looks like now” !!

Having lived through the plague, my question was always, “Why was I spared? Why am I living?”

Well, I’m living so that I can tell the story. There’s a whole generation that was here, and I stand on their shoulders. I can be who I am in this space, at this time, because of the legacy that they left for me. So it’s time to put my big boy pants on and talk…

Pose star Billy Porter breaks his silence on living with HIV in hopes of inspiring others.

Check out his full interview with the Hollywood Reporter here! Good for him for using his platform to help fight stigma!

!! OMG Stars: New Moon in Taurus (May, 2021) !!

OMG Stars by Amelia EhrhardtNew Moon in Taurus, May 11, 2021

On an recent episode of the podcast “What’s Your Sign?”, the three hosts go into a deep discussion about Taurus, in honor of this Taurus season. They dispel a lot of the mouths about the sign, and bring up some little-talked-about qualities. For example, they reject the idea that Taurus is lazy, and counter that the archetype is actually pretty active, given the Taurean love of the outdoors.

I’ll add to this with one of my favorite facts about Taurus: in my life outside of Astrology, I’m a dancer and choreographer, so a lot of my clients come from this field as well. Taurus is the sign I have noticed to be the most common among dancers. This is not to say that all dancers have important Taurus placements (I have none!) but rather that the large majority of working professional dancers I know have Taurus in an important part of the chart.

New Moon in Taurus, May 2021This makes a lot of sense to me: Taurus gets written off in meme astrology as pleasure-loving, obsessed with food and rest, but the reason Taurus loves those things is that Taurus is the sign most connected to the body. The sign most about the experience of being in a body, of feeling that body in contact with another surface. Dance as a practice ultimately is about being in a body and experiencing its sensations: of air against the skin, the floor underneath you, the proximity of other bodies.

This Taurus new moon is joined in the sign by Uranus, planet of innovation and upheaval, in a friendly sextile to Neptune, planet of spirit and confusion. While this is happening, Uranus is in a sextile of its own to Mars, the spicy boy. Although you may notice folks are a bit sensitive right now, and likely to be protective of themselves, it’s also likely to be a time to engage in some constructive rest and let yourself recharge.

This Taurus new moon, invite a renewal within your body. Slow down and notice sensations, and seek new experiences within them. The interior landscape alone can be thrilling.

Find your full horoscopes after the jump!

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