Tennessee tried to execute Christa Pike on Wednesday night and somehow she’s still alive! Pike, 50, was sentenced to death in 1996 for torturing and killing her 19-year-old Job Corps classmate Colleen Slemmer, and she was set to become the first woman Tennessee put to death in over 200 years. Minutes after the first dose of pentobarbital, she told her spiritual advisor the vein in her arm felt like it was about to burst and asked if that was normal. UHH, yuh I guess not! Then came the snoring, the choking sounds, a second dose, and more snoring behind a curtain staff kept closing. She ended the night in a hospital.

Gov. Bill Lee has ordered “a comprehensive, third-party review” and called off the state’s only other execution scheduled for 2026. This is Tennessee’s second botched execution this year, and Republican nominee for governor Marsha Blackburn says she supports the review and also wants to bring back the electric chair. Pike’s lawyers say she’s alive and in treatment, and nobody has said yet what happens to her sentence. OH, the USA! So did you want Christa dead, or no? We’re confused.