Is Kelly Clarkson the only daytime host willing to describe her own gastrointestinal apocalypse on network television before noon? Quite possibly. Kelly has never been one to keep her bodily disasters to herself and on her show this week, the singer launched into a full anatomy-of-a-meltdown story about a bad salad, a work trip, and roughly 48 hours she described as “Bridesmaids ain’t got sh*t on what happened.”…
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she began her TMI story while laughing, per a video shared on social media. “I don’t know if I got that thing that people, like, eat lettuce s—. I don’t know, okay? I don’t know what the f—.” Clarkson was referring to Cyclosporiasis, the lettuce-linked intestinal illness affecting thousands across the U.S. caused by a microscopic parasite.
“But last night during the show, I was like, ‘oh my god, Jesus,’” Clarkson continued, grabbing her stomach and miming exasperation.
She said she then went back to her room after the show, adding that she “had never been so happy that there was not a man in the room, because he would never make sweet love to this again.”
“Bridesmaids ain’t got s— on what happened,” she quipped, referencing the notorious scene in which the main characters suffered from brutal food poisoning while shopping for dresses. “And you know the part where you think it’s over, where you’re like, it has to be over? No, girl!” Clarkson ran across the stage and squatted.
“But you know what’s awesome? They have, like, warm toilets for you here. Oh, I’ll be single ‘til I’m dead. It’s fine. I’m gonna find another weird motherf—er out there,” concluded Clarkson.
Well… if you were wondering… there you have it!
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