It’s been a long time coming, but everybody’s favourite disobedient toddler chanteuse got burned by some comedy greats this week, and you can check out some of the zingers after the jump!
“You gotta give it up for Justin. He started from the bottom and he’s still a bottom.” –Hannibal Buress
“Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you?” said Jeffrey Ross about Bieber’s ex, Selena Gomez.
“Selena Gomez had sex with [you]… proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.” (Another Jeffrey Ross zinger.)
“Orlando Bloom took a swing at you; you have a perfume called Girlfriend; you threw eggs at a house – not gangsta.” – Kevin Hart
“Justin Bieber, the man. Why are you here? … You are about to get fucked harder than Orlando Bloom fucked Selena Gomez.” –Chris D’Elia
“Justin’s fans are called beliebers because it’s politically incorrect to use the word retards.” – Natasha Legerro
“Martha is so old, her first period was the Renaissance.” – SNL’s Pete Davidson on Martha Stewart
“Hannibal Buress is famous for exposing Cosby. He’s only famous for exposing Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby hurt those women without ever caring about the consequences … that Hannibal Buress would become famous.” – Pete Davidson
“Justin as a father of six you have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that high. And he uses your music to torture people.” – Shaquille O’Neal
“Justin wants to be black so bad he’s actually seen Kevin Hart’s movies in theaters.” – Ludacris
“You acted so much like a pussy on the show that Ellen tried to eat you.” –Ludacris
“Justin’s life changed when Usher heard one of his songs and liked it, which only goes to prove that Usher ain’t black.” –Snoop Dogg
“… You haven’t put out an album in three years. What are you doing? If you listen closely you can hear the sounds of One Direction fucking your fans.” –Jeffrey Ross
“There was really no preparing me for this life. I was thrown into this at 12 years old, and I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. There’s been moments I’m really proud of and a lot of moments I look back and I’m pretty disappointed with myself for. But the things that I’ve done really don’t define who I am. I’m a kind-hearted person who loves people and through it all, lost some of my best qualities. For that, I’m sorry. But what I can say is that I’m looking forward to being someone you can look at and be proud of.” – Justin Bieber
What a twat.
Why are we waiting for this? Isn’t it time this no talent bum disappears? Isn’t he basically a one hit wonder?
I can’t stop laughing at the Ellen comment. OMFG