!! OMG, She’s A Mommy: Bethenny ‘Bethany’ Frankel !!

OMG, Real Housewife of New York Bethenny “Bethany” Frankel went into labor this morning! This is the scene as I imagine it to have unfolded:

INT. Bethenny’s Kitchen. BETHENNY and BETHENNY’S ASSISTANT sit huddled over separate laptops.
BETHENNY’S ASSISTANT: Oh no.
BETHENNY: What?
BETHENNY’S ASSISTANT: Holy shit…
BETHENNY: What?!
BETHENNY’S ASSISTANT: Have you seen Perez Hilton yet?
BETHENNY: No. What’s that f*cker saying now?
BETHENNY’S ASSISTANT: Just look.
BETHENNY: How do I find it? What’s the link?
BETHENNY’S ASSISTANT: It’s right at the top of the page.
(Bethenny clicks around for a moment.)
BETHENNY: Shit. That f*cker. It says here that I’m going into labor!
BETHENNY’S ASSISTANT: Wait, right now?
BETHENNY: Yes!
BETHENNY’S ASSISTANT: Well… ?
BETHENNY: (Feels stomach, a look of surprise registers.) How did he… ? Well shit. Call the doctor.
(She stands and begins packing her bags.)
BETHENNY’S ASSISTANT: Should I call Jill first?
FADE TO BLACK

Bethenny’s baby’s arriving a month ahead of schedule, so let’s wish Ms. Frankel and her spawn good luck getting all their publicity ducks in a row on this short notice!
[Access Hollywood via Gawker]