!! Bacon for my birthday !!

For all you readers who want to get me a birthday present, be aware that it is this coming Thursday, July 13, so start saving your pennies.
Anything from my Amazon or Tower wishlists would be lovely, and money is always appreciated as well (Paypal donations to donate(AT)omgblog(DOT)com) since I get paid a big fat $0 for writing all this amusing crap for you every day.
But… what I really want… is a membership in the Bacon of the Month Club. I’m not joking. It seems like the most delicious thing ever, plus look what you get:
• Twelve different artisan bacon delivered to your door each month
• Informative notes on all bacon selections
• Discounts on Grateful Palate bacon products and bacons
• Bacon of the Month Club Membership Card
• The Bacon Strip—Our monthly bacon comic strip for members only
• The Bacon of the Month Club Pig Ballpoint Pen
• A Little Rubber Toy Pig
• One free Bacon Tee-Shirt
And all that for $140! That’s a bargain if I’ve ever seen one, especially considering the intriguing “pig pen.” I’ve never eaten “artisan” bacon before, and I am dying to try it, so if you’re feeling generous, please help me stuff my face with pork.