Meet our new advice columnist: Your Friend, Dorothy! She received your messages, and this month, she’s here to help you get laid during lockdown, navigate the changing world of work and cure those stuck-on-the-couch blues.
Read Dorothy’s advice after the jump!
I’m a single guy in the city and I am dy-ing for a hookup but Covid’s got me scared stiff. What can I do?
Dear Covid Blocked,
It’s true, CB, we’re wading into the ninth month of physical distancing, and with no end in sight, everyone’s getting fatigued. But fear not, there are some safer ways to get your groove on.
For starters, have you considered loving the one your with? No not (JUST) self love, but looking for partners in your immediate bubble, the people you already have close contact with. This could be your roommate, your co-worker, maybe even that guy in the elevator that you already share some risk with.
Keeping it closer to home helps minimize potential spread.
And when you do find that special someone be mindful of the activities you engage in – channel Tom Hardy (sooo many hot lewks to choose from) and keep your masks on. Masked fucking is kinda hot.
If it’s warm enough where you are, why not also meet outside and/or take it from behind? And while you don’t have to put a ring on it, consider monogamy, at least temporarily. You minimize your points of risk by seeing the same person twice a week for a month rather than seeing a different person every week.
Also, bonus points for using glory holes, which believe it or not the New York City Public Health department is behind. (Not literally, you perverts!) Times are tough, but with a little bit of careful planning you can while away the rest of lockdown shagging your brains out.
I’m stuck in an entry-level office job where all I do is the most basic of work.
Since March we’ve all been working remotely and that’s making it even hard to get noticed. What can I do to advance my career?
Yours in isolation,
I know it’s a hard time for many people in the world of work. Those of us lucky enough to still have steady jobs may be finding that we’re losing touch with our broader networks or having our skills atrophy while out of the workplace. The good news is that people in all levels of your office are feeling this way – reach out to them!
Don’t hesitate to arrange a virtual coffee with an executive you’ve always admired so you can ask them about their path (people LOVE talking about themselves). To make sure you don’t flounder, practice first by talking work and career advice with people at your own level or just above you.
This is also a good time to “sharpen the saw,” as they say. Put your hand up for a challenging assignment or reach out to team members who can teach you a new skill. Or if your heart really isn’t into that, reassess: What do you like doing? What are you good at? These periods of boredom and self reflection can be an opportunity to get us off our hamster wheel and into the place where our true passions lie.
No doubt, the trends caused or exacerbated by the pandemic (remote work, nesting, micro-baking, micro-everything!) will have long-term impacts that no one can totally predict right now. One thing does seem certain: Income inequality continues to increase, and the legacies of racism and colonialism that our culture has been built on are experiencing a reckoning.
Does your company offer diversity and inclusion training? If so, be sure to participate, and if not, maybe now is the time to start a program. It’s hard to know where things are going, so stay engaged and ride the wave.
I’m bored out of my mind. Help!
Regards from the edge,
A Very Excitable Guy Experiencing Tedious And Blase Life Energy
Did you get a chance to see Michael Breslin and Patrick Foley’s virtual theatre production Circle Jerk? No?! Keep an eye on the theatre groups in your community and see how you can support them in this virtual age.
There’s a lot more to life than Netflix.
Got a burning question, or just something burning down there? Get answers from Your Friend, Dorothy, the OMG.BLOG in-house advice columnist.
Receive thoughtful, compassionate advice from your friendly neighborhood den mother who’s been there, done that, fucked it, smoked it and lost her T-shirt on the dance floor. She’s po-mo, poly, pan and a social compass to help you land safely as you soar.