!! OMG, hotness: Dear God !!

I had seen the DEAR GOD blog around for a bit, but never really wanted to link to it…it was just a bit too Chicken Soup/Eat Pray Love for my sick little heart. Then I happened to check just now and saw THIS POST:

Dear God,

Where to begin…

I go to a military boarding school and am struggling with the idea that I might be gay. I’ve lived my entire life around the idea that girls are who I should be with, but I can’t explain my attraction to guys. It’s weird, and I’ve never been with a man to any extent, but I feel like I should. Every time I kiss my girlfriend, I feel like a liar.

Is there something wrong with me? Did you make me this way or am I just a freak?

Ooooo! Gurl! I think I might have found a little jerk-off jack-pot. Nothing like the pleasurable confessions of confused straight-boys to get my sticker tickling. Here’s my prayer:

Dear God,

Please send me a magical-shape-shifting-million-dollar-cinnamon-flavoured boyfriend who morphs from hot-shit-humble-art-queer at parties to Timm-Gunn when I need a shoulder to shed crocodile tears on to curious-18-year-old military-school-student when I need a turn-on to uncut-power-daddy-flip-flopping-verse-bottom-Christopher-Meloni when I’m ready for sex to post-coitus-masseur when I’m done to cup-of-coffee when I wake up. Kthxbai.

Is that too much to ask for? Who cares, it’s God, she can do anything.