!! OMG, How Chaste: Side Hugs! !!

Here at OMG Headquarters, we spend a lot of time thinking of new ways to minimize our level of sin. Although there are a lot of things we’re not willing to give up (gaiety, covetousness, swear words) there are a few places where it’s easy to cut back on the sinfulness. For instance: hugs! A week ago, I didn’t even know that hugs were sinful at all. That’s before I learned about the difference between front hugs (sinful) and side hugs (not sinful!!!!). By eliminating front hugs from my life in favor of side hugs, it allows me to sin more freely in other, more meaningful areas. Who really cares about hugs anyway?

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3 Comments on "OMG, How Chaste: Side Hugs!"

  1. It’s absolutley embarassing…are the black guys in the back who just stand there just giving credibility to these white street thugs? Side hugs are a way of saying “I don’t much like you, keep away from me, I judge you behind your back” which I guess makes sense for born agains to be practicing the side hug.

  2. I almost managed to watch half of that before stabbing myself in the face with a nearby sharpie.
    I need to go listen to Lil Kim now and repornify my brain.

  3. Are drive-by-blessings next for these “thugs”?

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