The day we’ve all been waiting for is here: Amy Winehouse has put down the bottle, tossed aside the crack pipe, and taken up the art of rapping! The glamorous and svelte chanteuse is clearly back on track with her life and set to take the world of hip-hop by storm, with crackerjack rhymez like these:
“Oh snap, I never knew /
I never knew that I, well– /
I know I’m a Jew. /
Well, a Jew with bacon. /
Anyway, if you could, uh, smoke bacon /
Then, um, I reckon, that, uh, um, um.”
Ms. Winehouse fails to remember that bacon is usually already smoked, but details details! Don’t let my nitpicking cloud your artistic vision, Amy. Now if only you can think of something that rhymes with UM, you’ll be ready for your second act.
(Thank you to Amy S. for the tip. By the way tipsters, I love it when you open your emails to me with “Hey Perez!”)
One word: No.