Images like this one keep popping up online showing the superhero “yoga twink bottom moves” from the set of Spider Man 4. And while my heart’s a’flutter to see new leading man Andrew Garfield in the spidey suit (later, Toby Maguire), I will NOT be going to see Spider Man: Turn Off The Dark on Broadway. And not just because there doesn’t appear to be any sexual-position stunt choreography.
Ben Brantley‘s review in the New York Times confirmed what theater-watchers long dreaded about the most expensive show in history ($65 million!): that despite direction from Julie Taymor and music by U2, Spider Man: Turn Off The Dark is crap crap crap.
I’m not kidding. The sheer ineptitude of this show, inspired by the Spider-Man comic books, loses its shock value early. After 15 or 20 minutes, the central question you keep asking yourself is likely to change from “How can $65 million look so cheap?” to “How long before I’m out of here?”
So, basically, if you’re planning a web-slinging trip to New York City, wait for the movie.