!! OMG, in “SEXCUSE me!?”-type news: Taylor Lautner is getting married… to a woman. Who will then also be named ‘Taylor Lautner’ !!

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Twilight’s Taylor Lautner… who we always assumed played for our team (when you ASSume, you make an ASS out of you and… oh, nevermind), went on the Kelly Clarkson Show to gush and tell her that well, he’s got a WIFE in the works! Wow. It’s true. This took me by more of a surprise than when Kelly married a man!

And Taylor will actually giving the true clone gays a run for their money, by marrying someone who will even have the same name as him: Mrs. TAYLOR LAUGHTNER! Check out his interview after the jump. That’s different.

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9 Comments on "OMG, in “SEXCUSE me!?”-type news: Taylor Lautner is getting married… to a woman. Who will then also be named ‘Taylor Lautner’"

  1. Always thought he was hot, but could never find any nudes.

  2. Who this person talking about a whole a$$ community. Shame on you Ezra for lumping all gays together. You look up the definition of “respect” before using it again in a sentence because you look like a hypocrite

    • Did I hit a nerve internet troll? You are a bully and so are many of you gays. Bullying someone sexuality because you want him to be gay so bad. Ohhh boo hoo

  3. Why can’t gays respect other peoples sexuality? If he says he is straight or isn’t ready to admit his sexuality who is the gay community to try and out him or keep speculating on his sexuality? How horrible did it feel when people tried to out or accuse you of being gay when you weren’t ready to admit it? Such a community of bullies! Grow up and learn to respect people! If he says he is straight respect him and his sexuality

  4. This is really old; like 2021 news. I think you caught an August summer rerun.

    That said, as I said back when, this is him playing it safe. When she is pegging him, and he cries out “Oh! Taylor! Deeper!” it won’t be so embarrassing.

  5. Did he excitedly jump up and down on a sofa, Tom Cruise style?

  6. John Halliday | August 17, 2022 at 5:29 pm | Reply

    She’s a bigger Dick.

  7. Why is this news? Did Kelly run out of actual celebrities?

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