!! OMG Book Club: Also Crystal Was Into Witchcraft! !!

Anyone who has seen the classic film PORKY’S surely remembers a dancer by the name of Crystal Gellata, “a dancer from the movie Porky’s!” No? Okay, me neither, but whatever– Ms. Gellata has been to hell and back, and she’s decided to tell the world all about it in her self-published memoir Someone Please Love Me: A True Story of a Dancer from the Movie Porky’s. Based on the brief blurb on Amazon, it’s clear that this is a woman who makes Florrie Fisher look like Mrs. Garrett. Also this book is bound to be a total classic:

This book is about Crystal’s life. She feels her life is unbelievable. To this day, people do not believe her when she tells them about things that have happened to her. You name it, it has happened to her. She has had eight husbands in her life. All of them were monsters, except for the last one. Also, Crystal was into witchcraft. Crystal was a go-go dancer and quit when she was fifty years young. Since she was working in the bars she got mixed up with the mafia and a lot of bad men. There a things in her book that she has never told her bestfriends. But, now it is time for the world to know the life story of a dancer and how she survived it.

As a lover of literature and publishing professional, I know that self-pubbed books often completely rule in every way. You may think I’m being sarcastic but I don’t do sarcasm anymore; it causes too much confusion. So believe me when I say that Somebody Please Love Me will probably be my favorite book of the year. (Even though it came out in 2003. But I don’t think I read anything so great that year either.)
Order it here and make Crystal Gellata a very rich woman!
(And thank you to KYLIE for the hot tip.)

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