!! OMG, Heyyyyyy!: Stefon Zolesky’s clubs come to life !!

SNL’s resident club character, Stefon Zolesky, has been to some pretty wild places. And he describes them in such…illuminating detail. Yet the fantastical parameters of these fictional hotspots always made them rather difficult to picture — until now. Splitsider asked illustrators to render a few of the Zolesky’s creations based on the transcript and clip of each sketch. This one, called HEYYYYYY!, has the most gay appeal, but maybe that’s just me projecting my desire for a slice of Russian manmeat:

If you’re looking to get festive with your family, I’ve got the perfect place for you. New York’s hottest club is Heyyyyyy! Built from the bucket list of a dying pervert, this Battery Park bitch parade is now managed by overweight game show host Fat Sajak. This place has everything: tweakers, skeevies, Spud Webb, a child, and a Russian guy who runs on the treadmill in a Cosby sweater. So come on down this weekend — the bouncer is a bulldog who looks like Wilford Brimley and the password is “diabeetus.”

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