!! OMG, how drunken: Texts From Last Night !!

God if I could take back the texts I’ve sent when drunk I’d probably be rich and successful instead of desperate and living in squalor. At least none of my texts got posted on a public website like TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT. It’s like the boob-free mushroom-tripping-geek version of LAST NIGHT’S PARTY. I think my favourite text is “I just saw a cockroach and I want to be a firetruck.”

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