OMG PANIC!!! Jesus has a giant exposed penis! At least that’s what a bunch of filthy-minded Christians think. After all, anything can be porn to these people, including paintings of their lord and savior!
Churchgoers at St. Charles Borromeo Church in Warr Acres, OK are up in arms over a painting of Jesus hanging over the church’s altar– which they believe depicts the son of god with a ginormo erection. The church’s pastor, however, claims it’s just his “distended stomach.” Well, who to believe?! This is so confusing!
Normally I would assume that the parishioners– many of whom are leaving the church over the dust-up– to just be hallucinating the Jesus peen. But between the pedo-loving Pope and the Vatican’s gay hooker ring, I no longer put it past the Catholic Church to start sneaking porn onto the altar.
And after seeing the painting… well, you can decide for yourself after the jump.
Penis, stomach, or both!? We’ll probably never know, but one way or the other, I HAVE A FEELING I MIGHT BE OFFENDED!
[News OK via The Awl]
Girls, if that a penis (or a REALLY BAD hernia!) some really bad shit needs to hit the fan up in PopeVille…
WTF??!! Is this really what we’ve come to (no pun)? Where’s Channing Tatum if you wanna see Perfection. Personified….
Mmm – I’d nail it.
Umm … Jesus was circumcised according to the Bible – per Jewish law (7 days after birth … ie, New Year’s Day). This image, if it was his penis, depicts an uncirc peen … much ado about nothing. And if Jesus was that hung, he sure made Mary Magdalyn a happy woman.
Well, it does look pretty phallic. And, the left “nut” is larger than the right – a pretty common occurrence among most males. But, unless Jesus had a cock the size of his forearm coming out of his abdomen/navel, it’s more likely the ab muscles and concaving of the ribs that we are seeing. Maybe this is indeed one of those “dirty” artist tricks. Painting a penis without “really” painting a penis you know? Only the artist and Jesus know for sure!