Just like Mormons have their sacred underwear, Tom Cruise has his tight, white suit that he must wear to appease Xenu lest he rise from beneath the volcano and give “free stress tests” to the entire population. Tom has that crazy “hopped up on Niacin” look in his eye as he speaks (raps?) into the microphone with a fervor matched only by the most seasoned televangelists. I’m not sure what he’s talking about, but it’s probably dumb. One more shot after the jump.