!! Defending Dolly !!

I usually find the girls at Go Fug Yourself pretty amusing, if a little bit indiscriminating, but this time they have stepped over the line. Says Heather:

I’m developing a new theory: that Dolly Parton is an enterprise run almost identically to that of the Dread Pirate Roberts. So when the Dolly Parton we know grows weary and decides to retire, she identifies a replacement who will seamlessly merge into the life of Dolly Parton and carry on the Dolly Parton name and brand, as if nothing had ever happened. That way, Dolly is ageless and lives forever, and people will never have to know what a dark and woeful place the world would be without her and that hair, and the breasts that unwittingly prepared a nation to cope better with Anna Nicole Smith.

The aforementioned harebrained theory came to be after I saw a photo of a woman I believe is en route to becoming the new Dread Pirate Parton: Pamela Anderson.

parton_portrait.jpgPamela Anderson is a funny, intelligent woman with humongous boobs and so is Dolly, but that is where the similarity ends. To suggest that anyone could take Dolly’s place in the world is blasphemous. She has created and is still creating a body of musical work larger and more original than most artists in the last thirty years. Plus Dolly is a role model for freaks everywhere, and she holds her head up high, always teaching tolerance and acceptance. It is going to be a truly sad day when she fades from the public eye.
As someone who makes fun of people constantly on my own blog, I know how hard it is to find fodder sometimes, but I find it completely inappropriate to belittle Dolly’s place in this world for the sake of a badly-pieced-together joke. I think Heather should apologize and pick her targets better in the future.

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4 Comments on "Defending Dolly"

  1. i love dolly! and i always have. so she’s making herself some money, who cares? she grew up with nothing and made a life-long career for herself. USING HER TALENT. which is more than i can say for most of these douche nozzles considered ‘stars’ these days. i may sound like an old fogie, and at 36 i might be. but dolly was there for me growing up and she somehow made me feel better about being gay before i even knew i was gay. long live dolly!

  2. I couldn’t agree with your ass more!

  3. It’s sooo wrong to compare that Hepatitis-ridden skank bag to the classy Dolly Parton. Pamela has lost any small aspect of attractiveness she once had… Dolly never looked better. She wrote songs with Elvis and is still here… what has Skankerson done that is remotely even in the same category? Given head to some dude in Poison? *gags*

  4. I’m with you on the Dolly thing. Almost. But I have to take a page from your own book in regard to unjust assessments. Anderson isn’t fit to polish Dolly’s sequins. The latter is an enduring artist, an astounding songwriter, a performer who can hold an Oscar audience in the palm of her hand, a philanthropist, and a great, great lady; the former is a plastique, untalented rack whose only claim to notoriety is a fondness for skanky, tattooed, loser Rock boys.

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