Since there hasn’t been a f*cking thing worth noting on the internet today, I went for a little stroll an hour ago and was struck by a certain AUTUMNAL breeze on the backs of my arms. Could these be the winds of change? Ugh, summer is ending, which also means that today is the final installment of Marisa Meltzer’s positively MAUPINIAN serial web novel, Managed Expectations, over at The Awl.
Managed Expectations follows the travails of one Nicole, a materialistic and self-absorbed, yerba mate-chugging quasi-hippie with a heart of gold in the wilds of Brooklyn. It is both an astute exploration in matters of the heart and a savage comedy of manners.
On weddings:
Reverend Winifred Dehner, a priestess and Reiki master from Pillars of HER Traditions, that goddess temple on Staten Island, stepped forward. “Sisters and Brothers,” Rev. Dehner began, “Miranda and Lawrence look forward to the day when the civil right of marriage will be extended to all citizens.” She went on to read from the Massachusetts Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage and followed it up with quotes on the nature of love from Rumi and Dave Eggers.
On compatibility:
“We had a fight.” Jared looked down at his pint of Stella. “We were at this party for one of her square interior decorator friends and she kept trying to get me to dance with her to De La Soul. I had to tell her how much I hated positive rap.”
On breakups:
“It works, too. Remember that guy who I dumped because he said I wasn’t angry enough about the 2004 election?”
“The guy with the Lhaso Apso?”
“Now he’s on Twitter but it’s written in the voice of the dog.”
“Oh my God.”
“See? Totally over him. Works every time.”
I’m really sad it’s over, but if you haven’t been reading it all along you’re lucky because now you can read the whole thing in one sitting. I’m jealous!
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