!! OMG, How elaborate: Men’s pubic hair reaches topiary heights !!

The men’s pubic hair crisis is getting worse by the day! Now the intrepid reporters at Salon bring us the news that, in addition to the alarming trend among teeny-peened straight men of going totally bare down there, men are also insisting on sculpting their virile bushes into stupid shapes. Says aesthetician Jane Pham:

“Men tend to want the oddest pubic hair shaping,” she said. “One guy asked me for a blue whale design. Another wanted me to shave the words ‘Campbell Soup’ into his pubes, because his girlfriend liked Campbell Soup. I was like, ‘No way, dude!'”

Personally, I’ve long fantasized about shaving my pubes into the shape of a turkey, or a dollar sign. But the Campbell’s Soup logo? That’s going too far!

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